Dear all you other people not sitting on a pin cushion (everyone else), (See also The Knights Tale)
I am doing really well, the language is coming along, I do struggle with it, but if there is something I've learned, it has been patience with myself and I think I have patience with other people sometimes. I came across this crazy realization the other day, I'm human! I get up set, I get frustrated, I get tired, I get cold, and weak on fast sundays, but....something I realized the other day, with the help of God, and the Holy Ghost, I have absolute control over my body, my mind, and my desires/heart. I was sitting there staring at my scriptures, so tired from lack of sleep, tired of using my brain, tired of hearing what other people think (especially my compaions), frustrated with my inability to focus and my leg muscles were cramping from playing kickball (our district won by the way). I stopped, set everything down and said a prayer. . . . . . . . and then just sat there waiting . . . . . . . . . . eventually after about 3 minutes or so, I picked up my scriptures and physically said, "I am reading you darnit!" And went to reading the first 4 verses were miserable, but then I came across a scripture it's in 1 Nephi chapter 2 (I think) about the tender mercies of the Lord. I then said in my head, "Father, please bless me with a tender mercy." All the sudden, I was envigorated. I wanted to learn, I wanted to read, and my desires and intents were so clear and my mind was freed from being stagnant.
Then later that night I was frustrated again. I instantly thought, "Oh great, I'm a Nephite caught in the pride cycle." I was sitting in a recording of Elder Bednar talking, I started thinking and trying super hard to concentrate on what he was saying because I knew the Lord had something for me to learn in that talk. I was then sitting there thinking about the experience I had earlier that day (the previous paragraph). I came to a conclusion that I have always known, but didn't really understand (I'm realizing how many things I don't understand but know a lot lately). I am human, I make mistakes, everyone makes mistakes. I should not stress myself over those things that are so small and insignificant that I miss a greater message that could be presented to me. RELAX PEOPLE! The Lord does not want us always running around like chickens with our heads cut off. When I first arrived I was very relaxed, too relaxed, I quickly decided I needed to be obedient, so I drove myself crazy doing it, I didn't enjoy people around me, people didn't enjoy being around me, and I didn't enjoy being around myself even. I quickly decided I am Elder Kendon Hatch, I will strive to do the right thing always, I want the spirit with me always, I will put the Lords will before my own always, but that the Lords way is not a close minded, no exceptions, one way type of life. The Lord does make exceptions (e.g. Thou shalt not kill......Nephi slaying Laban, Moroni defending liberty) the most important thing to do or that you can do is STRIVE to have the spirit with you and follow it. I promise as a representative of Jesus Christ that the Lord will guide you. HE DOES NOT WANT YOU TO WANDER IN THE WILDERNESS FOR 40 YEARS, he, "reaches my reachings" (Where Can I Turn for Peace). We have to reach for Him and I promise he will not turn away or forsake. God has only once forsaked when Christ was paying for our sins because he had to. I PROMISE he does not want to, nor will he ever do it again. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
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