April 8th, 2013
Dear Everyone,
Way awesome day! You know why? Because yesterday is not today and things are changing. I think I've made a slight discovery this last week and General Conference aided in this discovery. Ever since I've moved to this new area I have felt dazed and confused, even more so than I did when I first came into the field. I didn't know why? But you might have been able to tell from my last few letters that there was something missing.....I had lost a spark, lost a little fire, and I was wrestling with a few internal debates (whew...good thing I wrestled in High School, other wise they might have won). I was searching for an escape, saying it's got to be something that I'm doing that is wierd or something that's happening around me, I was looking for a trick or a technique that would help cure my spiritual vertigo.... Well, after self examination and several pages of just writing my feelings down I had not found any resolution to the predicament I found myself in. So I knelt down and prayed for a long time. Nothing happend, a few days later, tried the same knelt down, prayed, nothing. I was thinking that I must have done something wrong, or that God knew I wouldn't be willing to act on the prompting that He gave me.
So, I just went into the scriptures, conference talks, Preach My Gospel, looking for a solution. Days later I remembered that I had been in a meeting with President Holm and several other missionaries and he had talked about stretching our vision. And that my vision had shrunk. Time was flying by, but I wasn't feeling like I was accomplishing the things I could be. I had blurred my own vision and I was afraid of the changes here, afraid that I wouldn't get to see the Johnson's again, afraid that the Aguilar family wouldn't be baptized, afraid that I wouldn't accomplish these things that I no longer had any influence over. Don't get me wrong, remembering those experiences and learning from them and cherishing them is totally fine. But I was clinging to them.
I then was wanting to set new goals, so I grabbed a paper and started writing down what things I wanted to accomplish in my life time. Starting with the broad goals and working down to the specific and honestly I still haven't finish it. But then at General Conference I sat down still a bit dazed, but ready and willing to recieve inspiration on my questions I had written up. I listened to every single talk, minus two (due to investigators not being home when they said they would be, but I'll listen to them, promise.) It wasn't until The last session that something struck a chord. Elder Porter's talk about having no fear for the future, humbling yourself before him and accepting the will of the Father, know that and having faith in his purpose for me to be here. The spirit inveloped me with a fire, a desire to go out and testify to others of the gospel.
The most important thing we can learn is to be happy where you are! The city in which you live has no influence in your spiritual harmony with our Heavenly Fathers will for you. Bloom where you stand, be a light on a hill, be thou an example of a believer. Heavenly Father has purpose for us, you and me, where we are. Do not day dream about the past, and wish that if only this person were here, or if only I was in this place, if I had more money. Stop day dreaming and make today amazing so that your yesterdays from now until the end of this mortal life will be as a disciple of Christ. And then when you get to that point set new goals. And start again. I love this life! I love being a missionary and I love making other people happy. My today is fantastic and my tomorrow will be even better, and I wish the same for you, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Love you all,
Elder Hatch
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